""She likes to dream that she’s the queen and that when the rest are dead there"ll be no one who can order her to do anything. She said, dear, that she’d burn down the whole place, burn down Gormenghast when she was the ruler and she’d live on her own, and I said she was wicked, and she said that everyone was — everyone and everything except rivers, clouds, and some rabbits. She makes me frightened sometimes.""
Too miserable to write. Feel more miserable for having not written.
siamesesloth said: What is the cause of your misanthropy? I'm trying to understand the disconnect I have between myself and most people.
I have thought about this a lot. When I was younger I felt very disconnected from people, and didn’t understand why. Lately, I am beginning to realize it’s because I’m an introvert. As an introvert, you feel constantly like an alien in social situations. Nothing really comes naturally to you, so you are forced to observe people as if you’re on the outside. This just perpetuates feelings of isolation. Not only is it difficult to communicate with other people, but for you, it’s not really necessary. You’d be perfectly fine living in a human-less world, no matter how contradictory that seems as a human yourself!
I can’t completely call myself a misanthrope, because my entire being relies on connecting with other people, like you. And all the art I love would never exist without other humans. But it’s hard to have conversations with people and build relationships when you feel so inherently disinterested. Some people thrive among humans, and others just don’t. Either way is perfectly fine and healthy. I do think being an introvert is harder, because it feels like something must be wrong. Though I promise you, nothing is wrong. Most media is run by extroverts, so it’s hard to feel normal when everything you see in society is marketed towards people that aren’t totally like you. But that’s why I do what I do. I feel you, boo. x